


Meant To Be

by TheRoadAhead



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alone in the wilderness, F/M, Feels, Gen, being a ranger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-26 06:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoadAhead/pseuds/TheRoadAhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While tracking Gollum, Aragorn thinks about his future and whether or not it will be possible for Arwen to be in it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meant To Be

I am so close and yet so far away at the same time. I have been searching for many years and every time I think I am close it is snatched away from me yet again. It taunts me even in my dreams. 

I have come so far, travelled in so many circles that I know not where I belong. There was a time when I was one among the Elves, a time when, although different, I felt accepted. I am a Dunédain ranger now and that 'home' was lost to me an age ago. I no longer have a home for I travel in the wilderness, living off the land...alone.  
Yet still I fantasize. I know that it will not come true but it does not prevent me from imagining – 'what if'? My heart has been promised for almost twenty-eight years. I want to prove myself but I know I will never be good enough for my beloved. The Evenstar does not wax or wane but that does not change my own mortality. It is this weakness that I fear will separate us for eternity, until all of Arda is unmade – yet still I dream.

When I left the Valley of Elves I was told I was to become a king. I am heir to the throne of Gondor – a man in which all people will someday pin their own hopes and dreams upon, until I inevitably crumble under the pressure and responsibility. Then they will feel only disappointment towards me and I will be cast out. 'King' is a title that I do not want and that I fear I cannot fulfil. A dark shadow is spreading across Middle-Earth, one that I must defeat to become something that I do not wish to be. Yet I believe that taking the throne of the White City is my only chance at securing a position worthy of the one I love, finally able to offer her stability. It is that which I look to. It is my only option. Her father, someone who I too have been lucky enough to call ‘Adar’, would not part with her for anything less.

Even now, as the sun rises on another day and the wood that I am near seems to come alive before me, a new lease of light shining through its canopy, I am surrounded by the encroaching darkness. Those of my bloodline, from whom I am descended, were weak. It is the same weakness I fear flows through my veins. My Love once told me that I was stronger than those who had gone before. I desire to believe her for I know that she would not lie to me, yet I feel that it is only from her own hope that she believes in me. I know that she wishes me to claim the throne of men, with her as my queen. I know this because it is what I also long for – the day when we can bind together – one for all eternity.  
I am prevented from doing this. My path has become indistinguishable amidst the chaos of life. I am currently tracking a foul, loathsome creature, one which I see no importance in. I follow directions blindly and trust that there is a reason behind it. It leaves me to question whether that is a good quality in a supposed leader, to blindly walk into the unknown and danger. I am even more convinced that they have chosen the wrong man to perform such an enormous task. How can they expect me to unite all the peoples of Middle-Earth under one banner? I am too weak to carry this heavy burden. I fear it will consume me.

I know that in the coming years I will face a great task. It is one that I may not return from. If I die in battle then I would be spared the pain of watching the land and its people burn. It would be unjust! Why should I be spared suffering in spite of the pain of all others? At least if I live to see failure I will face it as others will be forced to face the consequences of my mistakes. 

There is but a slim chance that I will eventually become King and take Arwen as My Queen. Even though this is the case, I have recently become increasingly aware that it is all that I think about. Everything I do, even the chasing of this creature, I wonder how it may lead me to achieve the life I have always prayed to the Valar for.  
I go about gathering up my supplies and destroying my camp, leaving no trace of myself behind. I must find this un-earthly being, Gollum, and continue on my journey – for I know that it will be difficult. There will be many obstacles in my path; there will be times when it will seem hopeless. I will look to everything I do with Arwen's face in my mind's eye, giving me strength. I must always hope that, if and when we succeed, we will be together – the way it is meant to be.  
She is my heart and my reason for living. Very simply, she is my everything and it is for that reason that I cannot fail.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on fanfiction.net a few years ago. Since then, I have made some minor improvements to the general writing and decided to post it here. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it.  
> For those who don't know, the characters and anything recognisable belong to the Tolkien estate and not to me.


End file.
